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Posted by / 26-Mar-2017 13:19

It's a privileged position to stand alongside someone so sure of self — and at least in my experience, that surety has rubbed off, to make me more confident, fearless, and courageous. We see our partners as perfect — and don't always understand why they can't see the same.

Because we love our partners, we tend to see them as perfect exactly as they are.

Perhaps because we, as cis people, aren't used to experiencing such slights on a daily basis, we tend to be quicker to go on the defensive.

So I get inordinately worked up and ready to defend my partner's honor, even when he would rather just go about his day, letting whatever slight it was roll off his back. (Then again, if there were, this cis woman wouldn't be privy to that group.) Consequently, as The Good Men Project correctly asserted, not all trans people know each other.

If I can filter a few of your prying questions before they reach my partner, I am entirely willing to do that.

Sure, I'll likely tell you to Google the answers to your questions, but I might just take the time to explain to you why it's not OK to ask what my partner's old name was or whether he's had "the surgery." And here's a freebie: Don't ask someone if they've had "the surgery." There is no single surgery that all trans people desire, and more importantly, not all trans people desire or have access to surgery, hormones, or medical interventions of any kind.

We will fight for our loved ones — even when our partners wish we wouldn't.

I call this my "Mama Bear" instinct, in an effort to make adorable something I'm pretty sure annoys my partner.

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OK, so maybe my opinion is biased, but I dare you to find other partners of trans folks who don't agree with this point.

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