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Guidos were a welcome respite from hipster art boys, and their urban flair and flashy romanticism appealed to me even though I stuck monogamously with a man who called himself my “househusband.” As I lead the feminist campus group, he donned an apron and cooked for our events.
And there was something about them I felt truly drawn to.
I’ve always secretly loved juiceheads, and been loved by them. I risk echoing the words of da Shore castmates when I say that “guido” is a pan-ethnic term. Yes, a strong contingent of guidos are Italian with their neo-American masculinity.
But in Japan, where I used to live, it’s called “ganguro,” which translates as literally “black face,” a reaction to the uptight geisha culture of artificially whitened skin and repression.
I’d forgotten all about him until the “Jersey Shore” episode where an Israeli girl “stalked” Pauly D.
When things flamed out, she yelled at him, “You guys are just like Israelis! “Yeah, but we ain’t shootin’ nobody.” He let the divisive guido in-fighting come out, not realizing they (we? Because at the root of it, guidos are family-oriented, gentlemanly, monogamous, and super-sincere.