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' I thought I was an adult and thought I was making my free choice. (Hefner's fame as a septuagenarian sexpot novelty was then at its peak.) Hefner offered Madison a Quaalude, telling her, she writes in Down the Rabbit Hole, that "in the '70s they used to call these pills 'thigh openers.'" She turned him down, but did get drunk, and by the time they all went back to the mansion, she was told that it was time to go to Hefner's bedroom. 1 girlfriend — a spot Madison herself would later occupy — brought her into the room, which was, she writes, "like an episode of Hoarders." With hardcore porn playing on two TV screens, Hefner masturbated as the women play-acted lesbian scenes. A girlfriend whose name Madison changed to Vicky in the book pushed her toward Hefner while urging him to "be with the new girl." Madison writes, "It was so brief that I can't even recall what it felt like beyond having a heavy body on top of mine."And some of those women had taken Hefner's Quaaludes."They weren't commonly available then — I don't even know exactly how he was getting them," Madison said."Women would come up to me, and say, 'Don't you miss the mansion?' Or, 'I'm sorry Hef didn't marry you,'" Madison recalled during a recent interview with Buzz Feed News at her home on a tree-lined Los Angeles street."I know most girls my age were not doing them, and didn't know what they made you feel like.
One Hooters customer was a friend of Hefner's, and asked her whether she'd like to come to a party — "barely taking the time to meet my eyes," Madison writes."Like, I didn't like being part of a group thing, and it didn't make me feel good about myself.But I didn't want to oversensationalize the sex, because to me that wasn't the most important issue. I think because I made that decision and really felt like I sold myself out." Being a girlfriend in the mansion was a highly regulated experience, even aside from prescribed sex.Some of the effects of that moment in the zeitgeist still linger today." Down the Rabbit Hole, which on Wednesday made its debut on the New York Times' hardcover nonfiction bestseller list at No. Sitting on her shaded patio overlooking her garden on a hot summer day, Madison, now 35, said, "I felt like I had something to say about being in the midst of that whole thing that was going on where Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson and Kendra were so celebrated — and I was a part of it too — for being dumb on TV.Part of the reason I wanted to write the book was to show the other side of it." Below, Madison talks to Buzz Feed News about what you don't know in regards to Hefner, her seedy years in the Playboy Mansion, and feminism. She was aware of Playboy, even going to an open call for the magazine's search for its Playmate of the Millennium during her second year of college.
Holly Madison decided to write a book when she was excelling in her career — starring in the long-running Peepshow in Las Vegas at Planet Hollywood, as well as her own E!