Jane austen dating advice
In the first chapter, Kantor focuses on happiness in love.
All of us want to be “happy”, but we don’t always know what that means, and many people pursue happiness in the wrong way.
This book is, by far, the best book I have read on dating with a view towards marriage.
I must admit my biases first: I am what is called a “Janeite” and an Anglophile.
Kantor writes, “Jane Austen gives Marianne’s story an ending that’s deliberately un Romantic [, warns Elizabeth Bennet about this, and Austen shows that complaining about men is “terribly counter-productive” (55). And finally, Kantor uses the anti-heroine Mary Crawford, of , to illustrate the danger of not taking love seriously.
Here, Kantor urges single women to look at their priorities and to judge men according to qualities that are not superficial.
It is now almost natural to me to ask myself, upon the prospect of a date with a certain person, whether he seems like a Willoughby or a Darcy.
Kantor lays out eight case studies, based on Austen characters, of men who are “afraid of commitment” and what their various obstacles might be.
I found this section surprisingly helpful and illuminating, especially since I am so familiar with the male characters of the novels.
For example, have they already been seeing someone you are not aware of, like Edward Ferrars or Frank Churchill?
Are they just looking for a good time regardless of your feelings, like Willoughby or Wickham?
Although I have never gone to an Austen event or dressed in Regency costume, her novels have been my faithful companions for many years. Kantor opens the introduction with the question, “Why do women love Jane Austen so much?
” As far as I can tell, she is spot-on in her analysis that Austen presents us with people and a world that we would love to be part of.
The false idea of love that women are particularly susceptible to is that of “sensibility” or sentimentality.