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"Actors do not ever hang up their tights; they just play older people," he says.
"I'll maybe get dragged off to some panto in Bournemouth one day."Somehow one doubts it.
"And keep your cock in your pants." The Big Short, the film adaptation of Michael Lewis' book of the same name about the causes of the financial crisis, opens in UK cinemas this weekend.
How will the story stack up against the greatest films about business?
I'm going to teach the wee fellow to cast a fly this year; that's the great thing about having kids, you can pass all that stuff on.
I'll only do things I want to do now, it's as simple as that."But I really wanted to do The Plan Man because I thought it was a great idea.
His aversion to confinement made him decline an offer to move to Hollywood on the back of Cracker.His Harry Potter character has an alcohol problem, as JK Rowling subtly signals to her older readers, and so did Robbie. Now, in a new two-part ITV drama, The Plan Man, he returns to the small screen as Jack Lennox, a bank-robbing barrister.During the mid-Eighties, he raised hell and developed a self-destructive streak."Och, my wild days," he says. After Cracker ended in 1995, Coltrane gravitated to the film world - he is certainly built for the big screen.He didn't really talk about it, but there were a lot of books in the house."Did you know," he adds, "that there's a bruise you get at the back of a bone in the throat if you've been strangled?" His father, Dr Ian Baxter Mc Millan (Robbie renamed himself after his jazz hero, John Coltrane), died of lung cancer at the age of 56, when Robbie was just 19.
"Well, I did my deal through Hollywood, so I did get paid well," says Coltrane.